


Void With A Heart

by Seer_of_Soul



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Indulgent, based on some headcanons, cuz I'm having fun, despite what canon may say, no beta we die by sightreading, weird stuff with light and darkness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:28:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23888974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seer_of_Soul/pseuds/Seer_of_Soul
Summary: Cloud remembered the day the world fell out beneath their feet. He remembered standing in the street, staring up at the cloud of darkness that ran through the sky like bleeding ink. Tifa shouted for Marline and Denzel to get inside, and while they did back up into the door of Seventh Heaven, they stayed outside, watching the sky.Cloud couldn’t look away either. This had to be Sephiroth’s doing.But it wasn't.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	1. Gaia Falls

Cloud remembered the day the world fell out beneath their feet. He remembered standing in the street, staring up at the cloud of darkness that ran through the sky like bleeding ink. Tifa shouted for Marline and Denzel to get inside, and while they did back up into the door of Seventh Heaven, they stayed outside, watching the sky. 

Cloud couldn’t look away either. This had to be Sephiroth’s doing. But he had no idea how to fight this. There were none of the normal signs, none of the normal feelings. Barret shouted something, probably at him, but Cloud couldn’t hear anything over the numb terror that threatened to swallow him. 

Then the wind hit, a wave of force that made Yuffie shriek and grapple onto the back of Cid’s belt while Cait Sith tumbled end over end. Vincent’s cloak snapped angrily in the wind, even as he himself seemed unperturbed. Then the noise came, a loud roaring skitter that sounded like thousands of creatures crying out as they scrambled over each other. Nanaki whispered about bad omens and settled into a low stance. 

The sound that followed was a hundred times more bone chilling. Hundreds of millions of voices rolled across the earth, shaking the ground like something was beating on it from the inside of the planet, trying to get out. Cloud could count the number of times he’d been this rattled, this scared, on one hand. 

The people of Edge had all bunkered down inside, or else left the area the moment the sky started turning. They remembered what happened to the ruins of Midgar the last time a storm like this had come. But it hadn’t been a storm like this. And there was still no sign of-

A long drip of ink fell from the sky, touching down somewhere out of sight. For a moment, nothing happened. And then, the Lifestream burst from the ground with a force that rattled the planet. 

Cloud pushed himself off the ground, eyes burning in a way they hadn’t for so long. Streaks of the Lifestream ran through Edge like they were running from the inky darkness. Flickering forms of people darted down streets, carrying cries of fear and anguish with them. Cloud felt fear truly grip his heart for the first time in years. He felt helpless. There was nothing he could do. He heard the others shouting words that were lost on the wind. 

A moment later, Cloud thought he must have hit his head on the street hard enough to shatter the pavement, because for a moment, he thought he saw Zack and Aerith running towards him. 

Cloud pushed himself to his feet, not sure if his heart was racing or if it’d stopped beating. Faint words caught on his mind in a familiar voice, a familiar intimacy. “Cloud! Take her! Go!” The images of ghosts flashed in front of him again, Zack pushing Aerith towards him as she reached for his hand. 

Then suddenly Cloud was jerked off balance, being dragged along, back towards the others. The ground shook under their feet. Cloud stumbled as Aerith’s hand in his grew warmer, more solid. Her form flickered less, and more, waves of color and solidness running up and down her form. 

“Hold onto each other! Hurry!” Her voice rang out, sounding here and present, without a hint the empty echo of the Lifestream. The Lifestream was condensing around them, around Aerith. It seemed to curl into Aerith. It was making her more solid, he realized. Aerith reached out, her hand finding Yuffie’s outstretched hand, her face a mixture of shock and unbelieving. 

Barely a heartbeat later, with a flash of silver and an instinct he didn’t have time to question, Cloud lost his grip on Aerith’s hand – he let go of Aerith’s hand – as the Masamune flew straight through Cloud’s chest and out his back and yanked him away. With a flurry of silver hair at the end of the silver sword, Sephiroth was there, piercing acid green eyes fixed only on him. 

“Did you think you could run away, Cloud? You can’t run from your own darkness.” There was that same dark ink dripping off of him, though Cloud couldn’t seem to figure out where it was dripping from. 

The world wouldn’t stop shaking, even though his feet weren’t touching the ground any more. Even Cloud could tell that something bad, even worse than this, was about to happen. He gripped Masamune with both hands and turned his head towards his friends, his team, his family. 

“Everybody grab onto someone!” 

Barret raced towards Marline and Denzel. Nanaki snatched Cait by the end of his cape and followed on his heels. Tifa looked torn for a moment, looking between him and Barret, before deciding to rush for the kids. Cid pulled Yuffie and Aerith under his arms, even as Aerith tried to reach back for him. Cloud saw Vincent fly across the ground towards him, somehow keeping his footing. 

Cloud reached out for Vincent as Sephiroth’s hand closed around his neck, pulling him down the Masamune’s blade. A warmer hand closed around his arm from the other side. Cloud couldn’t see what happened next, but the ground crumbled beneath him and the world was swallowed by darkness. His fingers closed around Vincent’s cape, somehow missing his outstretched hand.

The darkness swallowed him, swallowed them all. He forced his eyes open, seeing a darker darkness in front of him and two lights on either side, one glowing with a reassuring gentleness and the other shining bright enough to almost make him shut his eyes. 

“Cloud!” Zack’s voice rang crisp and clear in his head, no, in his ears. His hand felt warm against his arm. 

“Cloud,” Vincent’s voice floated through the air, filled with a touching amount of concern and worry.

“Cloud.” Sephiroth’s voice wrapped around him, through him, with a sharp coldness that felt alive and sadistic. 

Cloud didn’t know what happened, but the soft light was taken away, despite the tight grip he still had on Vincent’s cloak. There were other lights, more than a dozen of them, shining against the darkness, further away. As they shot away in all different directions, Cloud tried to burn them all into his memory.

They were floating, flying, through an endless tunnel made of emptiness. Flashes of light and color streamed past them too fast to see. All Cloud could see was that none of them were the Lifestream.

“Cloud!”

“Cloud.”

Cloud felt something in him tear, being pulled in two different directions too hard. His light was enveloped in the shining brightness, and his darkness flowed into the darker darkness. He himself was left empty, a void with a heart. 

Zack was protecting him again. He grabbed Sephiroth and pulled and pushed to get him off of Cloud. “It’s going to be okay! Just stay strong, Cloud!” 

“The light doesn’t suit you, Cloud. Accept the darkness within you.” Sephiroth batted Zack away, knocking his grip loose from Cloud’s arm.

Zack grabbed the end of Sephiroth’s coat and dragged him away with him, as they went spinning away, disappearing through a curtain of nothing. Cloud felt the curtain brush the back of his arms. And then he was falling through it. 

Cloud only had a moment to see the tall stone pillars and statues, carved out of a light rock, towering over him. He only had a moment to hear the roar of a crowd and the roar of a beast echoing from somewhere nearby. He only had a moment to feel Vincent’s cape flutter overtop of him to drape around his shoulders. He only had a moment to feel younger, angrier, darker. Cloud only had a moment to feel numb and empty and nothing before he lost consciousness in Olympus Coliseum. 

~

Cid held a shaking, a warm, an _alive_ Aerith against his chest. Yuffie was curled up against his side, tucked under his other arm. He was sitting on some kind of cobblestone or tile, with Yuffie perched on one of his knees and Aerith sitting on the inside of the other. The world around them was suddenly quiet, no destruction, no screaming.

“Gaia is dead,” Aerith said in a soft voice, raw and sharp with barely held back tears. “She is gone, and what remains of her people are scattered through existence.” Cid rubbed her back as soothingly as he could. He didn’t know how to console her. He didn’t even know how to console himself. He felt like someone had sneak attack slapped him in the face. 

Aerith looked younger. Cid hadn’t known her when she had been younger, but she looked it. He had known Yuffie when she was younger though, and she definitely was. The full brunt of what puberty had done to her was gone, leaving her the tiny stick of a ninja princess that she’d been when they met. Cid couldn’t tell if he’d changed, he hadn’t changed hardly at all in the past few years. He looked around, but couldn’t see anybody else. Nobody was around. 

They were in a courtyard, filled with flowers and plants and sunlight, all things that Aerith should have loved, should have been overjoyed to see. But here she was, trying not to cry. Buildings rose around the courtyard, unlike any he knew from Edge, or anywhere else on Gaia. There was a vague resemblance to Kalm’s building style, but it wasn’t quite. 

Yuffie wormed her way between Aerith’s arms, pressing the side of her head against her chest. “I can hear your heart…,” she whispered, almost afraid that speaking too loudly would shatter the moment and send Aerith back to the Lifestream. 

Aerith nodded and stroked Yuffie’s hair. 

“So, my dad is… gone? And Barret and Red and- all- all the others?”

“I don’t know,” Aerith said quietly, fixing her sad eyes on Cid. “I can feel- something, but….” Her eyes were almost apologetic, as if she had something to be sorry for. Cid tried not to think about Shera, or the others. Yuffie made a small noise, her fingers curling against the folds of Aerith’s dress.

“It’s alright,” Cid assured them with a steady tone he didn’t know how he managed. “Things will work out. We’ll find ‘em. Or they’ll find us. They’re strong, your dad is too Yuff’. Not much we can do ‘bout it right now, so no sense worrying ourselves sick.”

Aerith nodded. “Right.” She smiled a little bashfully. “I’m not used to using my abilities outside of the Lifestream. Maybe I just need practice.”

“That,” Cid said, thumbing the side of his nose, “sounds like a plan!”

“I’m gonna go scout and look for stuff!” Yuffie cried, leaping to her feet.

“Absolutely fuckin’ not!”

“Yuffie no!”


	2. A no longer to be hero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This should (will?) be the only chapter that takes so heavily/uses actual scenes and dialogue from any particular game. It's more set up for what I'm doing and a story I wanted to tell, so this is kinda... a mini fic within the fic, but also kinda a prelude.

Olympus Coliseum was a flavor of chaos that he was used to. Well, if anything, it was far more tame. The fights were organized and clean, for one thing. And the fighters themselves weren’t out for blood, for another. It was a strange, pure kind of battle that didn’t make his stomach twist into knots.

He still had the mako, thank the gods, or Gaia, or Aerith, or whoever, but his muscles hadn’t been nearly as developed at this age that he’d recessed to. It had been years since he’d been this small and skinny, which had taken some getting used to. Zack hadn’t felt like this since before Angeal. 

It had been a bit of a culture shock, waking up here. It was so different from anywhere he’d been on Gaia. He’d been there about a month, with somethings to show for it, and yet, not nearly enough. He’d gotten outfitted with some of the standard armor for the area, along with a helmet that would help hide his eyes. He wasn’t taking any chances when it came to someone recognizing his eyes, not after _that_ long long year on the run. He’d even managed to get his hands on a broadsword, a lot like the one he’d used when he’d still been a second. 

He hadn’t seen anyone else from Gaia, not since that struggle in the passage or whatever the hell it was, not since he’d pulled Sephiroth off of Cloud, not since he’d lost Cloud. He tried not to think about it too much. It was too easy to dwell on his regrets, and that wouldn’t get him anywhere. For now, he needed to get strong again. Cloud needed him. Zack wouldn’t leave him alone, not again.

He had heard about a ‘trainer of heroes’ that hung around the coliseum. Zack figured that was his best shot to get back into top form. He, probably far too readily, got excited about his long-held dream of becoming a hero. He felt a little giddy, with excitement fluttering in his stomach every time someone mentioned the word hero. It didn’t have the same tainted connotations here as it did back home. It felt almost tangible. He could practically taste it.

The man with goat legs, the satyr, he mentally corrected himself, had all but shooed him away when he’d asked about the hero trainer. Zack hadn’t thought much about it at the time, simply run off in the direction he’d been pointed in, until someone had told him that the mighty trainer of heroes was the satyr named Phil. Zack had gone to the place he’d seen the short and stubby satyr last, only to find that he wasn’t there. 

It didn’t take too much work to find him though. Zack wasn’t sure if it was something, he’d learned from being a SOLDIER or if Phil was just that bad at hiding. 

Zack rounded a corner and saw that satyr standing next to two young men who were probably close to his physical age. One was the red head that he’d seen around a few times, he was the hero trainer’s student. Zack hoped he wouldn’t mind getting a new training partner. The other kid was blond, not the gold shade he was looking for, more of a honey color, and wearing some kind of armor. It wasn’t the armor style from around here, but it didn’t look like the style from Gaia either, so Zack kept his mouth shut.

“Aha!” Zack proclaimed as he stepped into the open space. He heard the satyr grumbling something under his breath as he jogged up. “Okay, ‘fess up. I asked around and everyone says you’re the guy, the trainer of heroes.”

“True heroes,” the red head insisted. Zack felt his heart soar in his chest. He tried to ignore the childish glee of his reinvigorated dreams. 

“Really? You can teach that?” the blond kid asked.

“Course he can. Come on Phil, please! I really want to be a hero.” He needed to be, if he was going to help Cloud and the others. 

“Look kid, we’ve been through this. I’ve got two words for you student-teacher ratio.”

When the blond kid counted the words on his fingers and gave a slightly confused ‘um’ Zack had to swallow his laugh. This kid was almost as snarky as Cloud had been at his age. 

Phil tossed a wave over his shoulder as he started waddling away. “I already got my hands full with this one. Come on, Herc.”

“I’m low-maintenance, I swear!” Zack could practically hear Angeal raising his eyebrow and shaking his head in disagreement. But before he’d had a chance to even wince and apologetically rephrase that to something a little more truthful, a pack of… somethings appeared out of thin air, surrounding Phil and his student. The blond kid shouted something that Zack couldn’t catch over the skittering and hissing sounds the creatures made. He dashed forward at a speed Zack was almost jealous of. “Monsters, huh?” He knew how to deal with monsters. “Hey Phil! Watch this, I’ll show you what I’m made of.”

If there was one thing Zack knew how to do, it was how to fight monsters. If there was one way he could impress anyone, especially someone who trained heroes, it was fighting monsters. He drew his sword and bared down on the nearest creature. He heard Phil’s student shout that he was going to help too and Zack was grateful for the help. 

There was a ball of negative emotion in his chest though. He knew he might have to fight this kid over being the one who got trained. He hated the thought, that he might kick this kid, this good-hearted kid, off the path to becoming a hero. He tried not to think about it like that. Phil wouldn’t drop his student just like that… right? Angeal certainly hadn’t, and he wouldn’t have. 

The monsters were quick and slippery. More often than not, Zack whiffed. Herc was missing too, so that preserved his pride a little. The blond kid though, it was like he knew where they were going to be, like he’d fought them before, enough times to ingrain their patterns into his instincts. Zack had to wonder who this kid was, a fighter obviously, but… not from anywhere close to the coliseum. The kid fought like a whirlwind; he’d obviously been trained somewhere.

Herc crushed the last monster with a lucky flail as he stumbled. He blinked, like he couldn’t believe he’d managed to hit it. Ah, poor guy. Zack could see potential in him, sure, but this kid wouldn’t be a hero any time soon. The blond kid though-

“Okay change of plans!” Phil’s sudden declaration cut Zack’s thoughts short. “The games are coming up. I’m gonna watch both your matches… then I’ll decide who to train.”

Zack felt his heart soar. “Sweet! Thank you thank you! I’m gonna go sign up right now.” He took off towards the contenders’ entrance. He’d seen it when he was running around earlier. He slid sideways in front of the open alcove. The girl sitting behind the set-up table squeaked and blinked up at him with light grey eyes. Zack grinned. “Hi! I’d like to sign up for the games.”

The girl blinked, then blushed a little after she took a moment too long to respond. She pushed her golden blond hair behind her ear and brought up a clipboard, holding it out towards Zack. “Just fill out this form….”

Zack took the clipboard gingerly. He had no idea what it was made of, but he’d gotten his butt in trouble more than once for breaking a few too many. He filled in just the blanks that were marked as required, and made sure to write ‘soldier’ in lower case letters. He handed the clipboard back to the girl, feeling a small pang in his chest of ‘right shade of blond, still the wrong person’ but he pushed it away with one of his well-practiced dazzling smiles. 

“Don’t suppose you could show me where I’m supposed to wait…?” 

The girl flushed a little more, then stood up and straightened the skirt of her chiton. She fixed a bright smile at Zack and stepped out from the alcove. “Right this way…,” she glanced at the clipboard, “Zack.” 

Zack followed her to the entrance of the vestibule, seeing both Herc and the blond kid inside. He offered a quick, yet sincere, thank you to the blond girl before stepping inside. He saw Phil coming in from the other way and took a deep breath to steady himself.

 _“Breathe deep to focus your mind,”_ Angeal had once told him, _“A mastery of your own emotions is an invaluable tool for SOLDIERs. If you can learn to meditate, all the better.”_

Zack had never really gotten the hang of meditation, but breathing deep helped calm his nerves when he couldn’t fall back on his go to method of ‘squat the bad thoughts and worries away’. Now was probably not time to start squatting. 

He snapped back to attention while Phil was part way though whatever he had been saying. “-I signed you two up for the West... they already got a heavy-hitting contender cleaning up over there in the East bracket.” Zack felt his curiosity pique. Heavy-hitter? He just might have to meet whoever that was. “-move those sandals!”

Zack squared his shoulders and jogged into the waiting area of the West stadium. He may have indulged a bit and done a couple squat sets… or a couple dozen…. He was nervous. If he didn’t win Phil’s attention, or favor, or whatever, he wouldn’t get trained. And he needed that training if he was going to get strong again and help Cloud and the others. 

Zack chewed his lip nervously. At least he wasn’t worried about Aerith, as much. He knew she was safe and could take care of anything short of Sephiroth throwing another meteor at her. Well… actually she probably could handle that. 

He knew Cloud was strong too, in theory. But no mater how much he tried to convince himself that Cloud could take care of himself just as well as Aerith could, Zack still saw the Cloud with mako poisoning. It was unfair, he knew that, but…. Zack was pretty sure that a part of him would always be protective of Cloud. And since Sephiroth was out there too… well, that made him even more worried.

~

When it was time for the finals, for their bracket at least, Zack forced himself to go find Herc. He was talking to Phil and the blond kid, who Zack was mostly sure he’d heard being called Ven a couple times. Phil walked away just as Zack jogged up to Herc and Ven. “Hey, whoever wins, no hard feelings?” He held out his hand, steeling and resigning himself to the same vow. If he lost, so be it. But he was damn well not going to give up easily. 

Herc grinned and shook his hand. “Course not! Holding a grudge wouldn’t be very heroic.”

Zack felt himself laugh. “Just making sure. You’re not a hero yet.” Zack wasn’t one yet either. But he would be. He had to be. 

He walked with Herc into the ring, and the match started. Zack took some experimental swings at Herc, testing his range, looking for weak spots, gain some ground. Herc didn’t let him get much. Every time Zack took a swing, Herc slipped past his sword and took a swing with his fists. Zack had seen Herc fight, he knew damn well the kid had enhanced strength. He wasn’t SOLDIER, but he was probably stronger than one in sheer strength. Getting hit would _hurt_! 

“Hey! We got trouble!” Phil’s voice cut through the focus of the fight, making Herc stumble. Zack yanked the tip of his sword back before the kid could run into it. He hadn’t startled as much, but he did jump a little. “There’s monsters loose in town and if they gate-crash the games, you can forget about the match.” The underlying message there was that there’d be way more serious things to worry about. 

“Real monsters?” Herc breathed, eyes going a little wide. 

“We gotta stop them!” Zack felt his grip tighten around his sword. He hadn’t named it yet. It wasn’t the Buster. 

“Leave the monsters to me!” Ven cried, leaping to his feet from the audience bench and sprinting towards the exit. “This match is important!” Then he was gone. 

Zack felt his heart freeze in his chest. He wanted to go help, to hell with the match and the trainer. But if he didn’t… He had to- didn’t he? A blur of white and red snapped him out of his head. Herc was sprinting towards the edge of the ring, towards the exit to the coliseum. Zack scrambled into motion right behind him. “Ack! Wait for me!”

The second Herc’s foot touched the ground, a chime sounded. Zack didn’t stay around to hear it. Before it stopped ringing through the stadium, he was already through the door, just a few paces behind Herc.

On the steps leading out of the vestibule, Zack felt a chill that sopped him dead. It was cold and dark and suffocating, and familiar. Zack suddenly felt his breath catch in his throat. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe! His mouth fell open as he tried to drag the too thick air down his throat.

“Aren’t you tired of pretending, Zack?” A familiar, yet unfamiliar voice rolled across his shoulders like mist. “Being a hero…,” he chuckled lowly, darkly, “well, you’ve never managed to save anyone that mattered.”

Not Angeal. Not Genesis. Not Aerith. Not even Sephiroth. And not Cloud, who had gone on without him, in the end. Zack hadn’t been there to help him when he’d needed it most. How was he supposed to be a hero, if he couldn’t save the people he cared about? 

A spark, no, a fluttering, came to life in his chest. A stirring of emotion and energy flowed out through his limbs. Hero or not, whether he succeeded or not, he had to try. Suddenly he could move again. 

Zack leapt over the last few steps and scrambled towards the town, where he heard the skittering and hissing of the monsters from before. When he got there, there was only one monster left. It was leaping towards the back of Herc’s head. Zack flew across the ground and brought his sword down to cleave the monster in half. Pushing the uneasy feeling in his chest down, he straightened up and put his hands on his hips. “What, you didn’t save any for me?”

“Hey, you’re here?” Herc gaped at him, eyes going a little wider. 

Zack crossed his arms over his chest. “Hey, I’ve set my sights on being a hero too.” He shifted his weight uncomfortably. He didn’t want to tell them why he was late. “I… just don’t run as fast, that’s all.” Well, that was also true, but….

“So, you both threw the match?” Ven tilted his head, honey blond hair flopping over his head. Zack felt like his heart had gotten whacked by a wooden paddle. Cloud used to do that too- he really needed to stop thinking about Cloud so much, it wasn’t good for his heart. “Who won then?”

Herc shook his head, looking up at Zack expectantly. “I left first, so it’s not me.” He looked nervous.

“Yeah,” Zack admitted hesitantly, “but I was only seconds behind you.” But the buzzer had sounded when Herc’s foot touched the ground. Herc had lost, even if Zack hadn’t stayed around to hear the announcement.

“Still….”

“Hey!” Phil’s voice made them all jump. “I never said I’d coach the winner. All I said was I’d see the match, then decide. Look, being a hero takes more than just muscle. You gotta have heart and care about people.” 

Zack felt his lips quirk up behind his helmet. That was true. That reminded him a little of Angeal’s speech about needing to have dreams. It made his heart ache a little, in the way that only old hurts could. 

“And sure, you both get high marks for that.” Phil continued, looking between the two of them, “But this time, only one of you cared fast enough, and that makes all the difference.”

Zack pressed his lips together. Yeah. That was fair, brutally fair. He sighed and dropped his chin to his chest. “Oh man, I was this close!” He sighed a little more dramatically, shaking it off. If he couldn’t take criticism, especially when it was earned, then he wouldn’t have been a good SOLDIER. “Well, that’s life!” He grinned at Ven and Herc, to show there were no hard feelings. He’d promised that after all. 

Then he remembered that he was still wearing his helmet, which covered most of his face. “Uh, I never really introduced myself.” He slipped his hand under the back of his helmet and pulled it off his head, running a hand through the disorderly black spikes, knowing it probably did little to help the helmet hair. “The name’s Zack. Congratulations Herc.” He stuck his hand out to shake. Herc took it, squeezing a bit too hard, and they shook.

“Thanks Zack,” he said sincerely. Zack felt his heart break a little in his chest. This kid really felt like he was ripping everything away from him. 

Phil guffawed helpfully, “Yeah well, we’ll see if you’re still thanking him when I’m through with you. You got a long road ahead of you champ.” Phil jabbed his finger into the side of Herc’s knee in a way that looked painful.

Zack laughed and dropped into a set of squats before he could stop himself. Well, old habits die hard, and at least it was healthy. It was exorcise. “Hey, don’t count me out. I’ve still got plenty of big dreams to go with my lousy luck!” Lousy luck indeed. But, dreams big enough to carry him through it.

Herc tilted his head curiously and started doing some squats of his own, though not as many and not as deep. Zack grinned a little wider. 

When he notices Ven turning away, he made a little sad noise, completely involuntarily. Herc noticed and straightened up. “You’re leaving?”

Ven nodded, smiling warmly. “Yeah. My journey’s not over yet.” Zack felt himself smile dryly. Yeah. He knew how that was.

“But… you’ll visit, right?” Herc prompted.

Ven grinned and nodded, “I’ll stop by once you’re a true hero.”

“Stop by once me and him are both heroes!” Zack almost skipped over to him, throwing his arm across Ven’s shoulders. It took an indescribable amount of effort to not ruffle the wrong colored blond spikes.

 _“It’s ‘him and me’, Zack.”_ Zack shushed the echoes of Angeal in his mind.

“Oh,” Ven said, eyes sparkling as they narrowed, “so you mean never come back?”

“Hey, watch it!” Zack scoffed, laughing with the rest of them. He didn’t let on just how much that stung. The silky, too true words of the unfamiliar-familiar voice came back to him, whispering about his failures, about the broken friends he’d stood over, either as their failed savior or the harbinger of their demise. 

Zack swallowed the feelings that bubbled up in his throat, hiding behind a smile as they saw Ven to the edge of the coliseum. Zack put his helmet back on his head, letting the smile drop. 

“Hey kid,” Phil said up at him as he passed, heading back towards the stands. “You’ve still got a championship to fight.” Phil patted Zack’s knee. “The heavy-hitter from the East is your opponent. Give him a work out, okay kid?” 

Zack nodded, not turning to look back at Phil, or Herc at his heal. “Right.” After a long moment, after he was sure Herc and Phil were gone, Zack let out a long breath, feeling his shoulders shake a little too much. He missed Angeal. He missed Cloud… and Aerith. Hell, he even missed Sephiroth, the one from before- yeah. 

Zack pivoted on his heal and marched his way back to the coliseum. He passed through the waiting area, barely registering the other person who was standing there. Years of manners lessons came through. “Pardon me, coming through.” Who the hell says ‘pardon’ except for Angeal? Whoever he’d drilled manners into apparently. “I’m gonna miss my match.” 

The other person mumbled something to themselves as Zack passed. He didn’t hear. He was forcing himself to focus only on the match. Until a ‘Hey kid!’ caught his attention. Zack turned around, blinking up at a very tall, grey skinned man with… blue flames for hair. That was normal. Zack bit his tongue. Maybe it was… here. Bringing attention to him being an outsider, a way way outsider, was definitely a bad idea. “Over here, c’mere.” Zack stepped towards the man, a little uneasy.

“Hey, hey. No need to be shy. I just… want to wish you luck out there.” The grey skinned man dropped his hand on Zack’s shoulder. Zack tried not to shiver as a shivery feeling crept across his skin. “And uh, you know, give you a hand.” The man laughed, clapping Zack’s shoulder. 

Zack laughed, a little awkwardly. “Yeah, uh, thanks.” He stepped back, but felt like something had burrowed inside his chest. He turned away, rubbing at the center of his chest. He chewed the inside of his lip, pushing away the sudden compulsion to check his chest for bullet scars. 

~

The fight against Mr. Heavy-Hitter was brutal, humbling, and the most thrilling thing Zack had experienced since he’d been alive again. Zack lay there in the arena, gasping for breath and trying to make his arms move again. His helmet had rolled away somewhere, but he didn’t really care. He just laid there and stared up at the sky. It was a cloudless sky today, crystalline blue and endless. Zack remembered a conversation he’d had with Aerith a long time ago, when she’d said that she was scared of the sky, so vast and endless. Zack thought it was beautiful. 

Zack felt his arms jerk, feeling confused for a moment, then horrified. His body moved on its own, even as he tried to move against it. Something constricted around his heart, a physical feeling that told of some kind of harsh magic. The images of Hojo, Jenova, and Sephiroth flashed across his mind, sending him into a panic. Jenova cells? Now? But who was controlling them? Who was controlling him?

Zack gave a choked off cry of warning as his sword leapt to his hand. The other warrior’s head whipped around in surprise as Zack lunged at him, aiming for his throat with the sharpened side of his blade. “Stop it!” he scolded, “The match is over!”

Zack looked up at him, pleading with his eyes. He forced his lips to move, one of the very few things he could do. “It’s not… me! I’m not… doing this….” The other warrior’s eyes went wide and he breathed something too soft for Zack to hear over the sound of his sword cutting through the air.

There was a puff of smoke from the side of the arena and suddenly the grey skinned man from before was there, grinning with teeth far too sharp to be human. “So, what do you think? You like my new super-warrior? See, right here, this- it’s the power of darkness. Could’ve been yours. Still could, if you open up to it.” 

Darkness? Not Jenova? Or maybe it still was, kinda. Either way, Zack was still being jerked around like a puppet.

The other warrior snarled, raising his weapon at the grey skinned man. “Hades! You were just playing me!”

Hades? As in… the summon? Questions for later. 

“The darkness will never have me!”

Zack felt his heart stop as a horrible thought crossed his mind. What if he found Cloud while he was like this? A half seen, half remembered vision of a controlled, manipulated, puppet-ed, Cloud standing over Aerith with his sword raised flashed across Zack’s mind. He couldn’t let that happen. He wouldn’t. But, he couldn’t break free on his own.

 _“It is not weakness to ask for help, Zack,”_ Angeal had scolded him, even as he offered him his hand to help him up, off the training room floor. _“It is a sign of intelligence to ask for help when you need it. Don’t let your pride be your own undoing.”_ If Angeal had asked him for help, Zack would have left Shinra in a heartbeat. But he hadn’t. And students learned from their mentor’s mistakes.

“H-help me…,” he rasped through clenched teeth. “You gotta… set my heart free….” ‘Before I hurt someone,’ he tried to say. But what little control he had over his voice slipped away from him. The other warrior nodded solemnly, leaping forward to meet Zack’s weapon with his own. As they fought, or rather, the other warrior fought the thing controlling him, Zack wondered if this was what Cloud had felt like whenever he’d lost control, when his body had turned against him to obey someone else’s commands. Zack hadn’t seen much of it, hadn’t been there for him, on account of him being dead, spitefully. 

Before long, Zack fell to the ground again, like a puppet with its strings cut. He tried to breathe slowly, closing his eyes and focusing on getting the feeling back into his limbs as pieces of confetti stuck to his skin everywhere there was sweat, so everywhere there was skin. Ever so slowly, Zack pushed himself off the ground with his arms, mostly sure that the mako in his system was the only reason he managed not to faceplant. 

“You gonna make it?” A surprisingly gentle voice asked. Zack looked up, seeing the other warrior standing over him, his hand outstretched. Zack nodded, holding up a finger to signal that he still needed a minute. 

“Yeah,” he breathed, “I’m… free.” Oh Gaia, that hurt way more than it should have. Zack pushed himself onto his knees with a grunt of effort and pain. “Where-?”

“He’s gone.”

Zack felt something roll angrily inside him. He punched the ground, hearing the softer rock underneath the one that made up the ring crack. Oops. “Man, how could I let a guy like him control me? I’ll never live it down.” If Phil didn’t rip into him about not being good enough to be a ‘true hero’ again, Zack was certain he’d hear it form someone else. Imaginary Angeal probably.

Zack caught sight of the other warrior’s hand again, reaching more insistently. This time, he took it. “Thanks, um….” Never did catch his name….

“Terra.” 

Zack suppressed the snicker that rose in his throat. This guy was so much like Cloud. “Thanks, Terra. I’m Zack.” Zack felt something… off about Terra. It… was something similar to Cloud. A feeling of inadequacy? Insecurity? Well, Zack knew how to fix that. He leaned forward, scanning Terra up and down. “Hmm, Yup! Definitely. Terra, you’re exactly what I pictured a hero would be. Not the way you look, there’s something else about you.” He nodded, agreeing with himself.

Terra turned away. Gaia, so much like Cloud. “Well, I’m no hero, trust me.”

Wanna fight over it? “You kidding? Listen to those cheers, man. You don’t get to decide if you’re a hero or not.” Definitely. “They do, and they’ve made up their minds. Whether you like it or not, you’re their hero.” Zack bounced forward, nudging Terra’s shoulder in the friendly, just a tap too hard, way that SOLDIERs did with each other. “And, mine too.” Zack felt his heart soar when Terra didn’t stumble. Guy was built like a SOLDIER, even if he wasn’t one.

Terra’s eyes widened, almost brimming with a wonderous disbelief. 

“It’s too bad,” Zack sighed. “I really wanted to fight you fair and square.” Because nothing had felt that exciting, in a fun and enjoyable way, for a long, long time.

Terra shyly nudged Zack’s shoulder. “Maybe someday… Zack.”

Zack grinned. “Alright! You better make good, okay?!” Terra nodded solemnly, a soft smile dusting across his lips. So much like Cloud. Zack’s heart ached in his chest. It’d been doing that a lot lately….

~

Later, much later, after the smarting of such a humiliating experience had died just a little, Zack found Phil and Herc again. Phil was making Herc run laps around the coliseum, he’d pass by every couple of minutes, but other than that, Zack and Phil were alone. The coliseum was dead quiet behind them. Zack was leaning against one of the pillars next to the steps, his arm crossed over his chest and one foot propped up. Phil was lounging on the steps, drinking something that smelled alcoholic.

“Be honest,” Zack started as he watched Herc run by them, on his seventeenth lap, “you were never going to train me, were you?” 

Phil gave a low huff and crossed his arms. “This ain’t my first rodeo kid. I can tell when someone’s been trained before. You don’t need me.” He jabbed a finger up towards Zack.

Zack felt himself start. He looked down at Phil, eyes going wide as he wondered just how much he’d figured out. “You can tell?” How much did he know?

“Course I can tell. Any trainer worth his salt could tell you’ve already got all the coaching you need. You know what you gotta do. The only thing you need to do is to do it.” He nodded his head sharply, then took another swig of his drink. 

Zack felt his shoulders drop. “Yeah… you’re probably right, but….” He knew what he’d done with Angeal, yeah, but doing it on his own felt… wrong. But he didn’t really have another option. “Yeah. You’re right.” He raised his head, looking at Phil hopefully. “Can I still train with you guys sometimes though?”

Phil huffed, giving an exaggerated shrug. “Something tells me you’re gonna show up whether I say yes or no. So, sure kid.”

Zack laughed sheepishly, ruffling the hair at the back of his neck. “Ah, I’m that easy to read huh….”

Phil huffed and gave another exaggerated shrug, then yelled, “Move your sandals, Herc! Don’t you dare slow down!”

~

Zack felt greatly for Aqua. He knew what it felt like – to search for a friend like that. Aqua and Terra, they were friends, close friends, and she was looking for him. Zack could understand that. He sighed and leaned back against the wall behind the bench of the waiting room. If only there was something more he could do. 

Zack shook his head and dragged a hand through his hair. He’d forgone the helmet not long after the last games. It had been about half a month since then and no one had mentioned anything about his eyes. Well, except for the girl who’d asked if he was a demigod. Zack had truthfully answered with a noncommittal ‘Donno.’ It seemed to be a well-known word in this place, so admitting that he didn’t know what it meant would draw the suspicion he was avoiding. 

The bell sounded, ringing through the coliseum like a death toll. It was time for Aqua’s match with Hades. Zack stood up and made his way towards the stands. He was worried. But he was still quietly hopeful that Aqua would give him the opportunity to see her knock the jerk’s teeth in. 

Aqua stepped into the ring as Zack sat down on the empty bench of the coliseum seating. All the other spectators had cleared out, either called away by necessity in the late evening hour, or fleeing to hide from the god of the dead. Zack had learned little more than that about this Hades since the last games. Lord Hades of the Underworld was a brutal and cruel man, but one who could be bargained with. He had never learned much about the legends behind the Hades summon of Gaia, but Zack suspected there were as many similarities as there were differences.

As Aqua ran her fingers along the length of her weapon – the same kind that Terra and Ven used, he noticed – Zack felt a cold chill run up his bare arms and he shivered. It shouldn’t have been that bad with his mako, so that only meant that this cold was so much worse than it felt. Zack looked up, half expecting to see this world’s goddess Shiva breathing down his neck, but what he saw was an enormous humanoid that seemed to be made entirely of ice stepping over the edge of the coliseum. Hades appeared in the arena a moment later with a puff of putrid smelling smoke. Zack caught himself growling at the memory of meeting him earlier, after Aqua’s match. 

“Mosquito,” Hades had called him, brushing him off like he hadn’t puppet-ed Zack’s body only weeks before. That had stung like lemon juice in an open wound. Like he was nothing, annoying, and forgettable. Zack didn’t know what about that hurt the most. He’d been trying not to think about it.

“I never said one-on-one.” Hades gave an exaggerated shrug, looking smug.

“No fair, Hades!” Zack shouted at him from the stands. How he wanted to ring that guy’s stupid neck….

“I suppose that’s in the rules…,” Aqua said disbelievingly, like she wasn’t actually buying into this.

“Rule number two!” Hades snapped, raising two fingers ~~so easily broken~~ , “’Combatants may call for backup.’ Maybe you better call yours, bluebird.”

Zack was on his feet in a second, had already on the grip of the sword on his back. “He’s already here!” He ran forward, ready to tackle Hades out of the ring… after he skewered him.

Aqua’s weapon was suddenly in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. Then, it was Angeal’s Buster. Zack’s vision flickered between the two scenes. Aqua. Angeal. The Buster Sword held out in front of him. Hades. Hollander. Zack stepped back.

“Don’t Zack. I can do this on my own.”

 _“What should an angel fight for, Zack? What do angels dream of?!”_ Angeal had asked him, in pain, lost, searching. Zack hadn’t had an answer for him. _“Angels dream of one thing: to be human.”_

Zack sat back down numbly. He couldn’t feel his limbs anymore; he didn’t know if it was just from the cold. There was a pain in his chest, a deep, sharp piercing, gnawing pain. He shivered; that wasn’t from the cold. Zack swallowed the wet lump in his throat, feeling like something in his chest was shriveling up inside him, leaving an empty, consuming void behind.

Aqua had vanquished the ice giant before Zack could pull himself out of his own head. He shook himself off and rolled to his feet. Hades was fuming, well, burning. Zack watched fire roll off his shoulders before a puff of smoke consumed him. Zack felt him lips twist into a frown. Hades escaped again. That boded… not well. 

Aqua waved her hand towards Zack, smiling in a soft way that reminded him of Aerith. Zack felt a little spark, no, a fluttering of something filling his chest. It felt warm and familiar. It felt like an old dream he’d had, one where he’d taken Aerith and Cloud, healed from his mako poisoning, out into the country side to life a quiet, fun, and peaceful life under the open sky. Zack felt himself smiling as he jogged over towards the gates of the arena. 

Aqua walked beside him, smiling softly. Zack felt himself slipping into old habits, jabbering on about whatever was on his mind. He didn’t want to bring up Cloud or Aerith or mako poisoning or any of that, so he pushed back in the order of topics in his mind and landed on Hades. 

“Stupid Hades,” Zack grumbled in a tone that would have Angeal rolling his eyes at his immaturity. He got that eye roll a lot, come to think of it. “Next time, I’ll put him in his place.” He twisted around to look at Aqua. “Oh yeah! You’re the champ! We gotta celebrate!”

“That really… won’t be necessary,” Aqua shook her head and held up her hands in a way that was so much like Aerith that Zack couldn’t help what slipped out next.

“Hmm… hey, how about one date?” He held up one finger and grinned. Aqua did look like she could use some cheering up, and the ‘one date’ tactic had worked pretty well in the past.

“Huh!? Oh! You mean…,” Aqua flushed scarlet, suddenly looking more like Cloud than Aerith. Zack bit his tongue behind his grin to keep from laughing. “No…. I have to leave right away. Besides, I still have so much training to do….” She blushed even deeper, if that was even possible, and looked away. 

Zack laughed. “Fair enough. And I’m still a work in progress, after all.” He put his hands on his hips feeling his lips curling into a slyer smile. Aqua was looking a lot less stressed all of a sudden, so… mission accomplished.

Aqua blinked at him, still looking shy and a little mortified. “Huh?”

“Well, how ‘bout this: I become a hero, then we go on a date.” Maybe he could talk Aerith into taking that date instead, or too. She’d certainly enjoy herself. 

“I… I can’t make any promises.”

“Yes! Great, it’s settled. Hero-hood, here I come!” Zack flashed another teasing wink at her and scampered off. Best to leave on a high note. He passed Herc as he left, dipping his head in a small nod of greeting. He felt accomplished. If nothing else, at least he made Aqua’s day a little brighter.

~

Several months later, Zack had nothing to show for it. He hadn’t seen Hades again, let alone avenged himself. He hadn’t progressed in his training enough to see any differences. And there was still no sign of Cloud. Zack didn’t know what to do. He felt helpless. He felt frustrated. He felt weak. 

Zack paused as he reached door to the arena. Herc and Phil were in the middle of training, Herc running through some push up drills. Zack figured he shouldn’t interrupt them, so he settled back against the door, crossing his arms over his chest and propping one foot against the door. 

Maybe staying here wasn’t the way to do things. Maybe he should go out and search for Cloud and the others on his own, instead of waiting for them to show. But… he had no idea how to do that. There seemed to be a bubble around this place, a clear border that he didn’t know how to cross. Zack sighed softly through his nose, wishing there was something he could do, some way out of this place, some way he could go searching.

A small breeze, more a shift in the air than a wind, accompanied by a sound made him turn his head. Zack looked behind him, seeing a stark black feather floating down from somewhere above. His lips parted, but he was gone before the word could reach his tongue. 

“Sephiroth?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, before writing this chapter: "There needs to be more Zack scenes in Birth By Sleep!"  
> Me, after writing this chapter: "There... are enough... Zack scenes... in Birth By Sleep...!"
> 
> Like I said in the beginning note, this should be, and hopefully will be, the only part where I am using actual scenes and dialogue. It will definitely be the only one where I'm using so much, to be sure. Next chapter, back to shenanigans with the gang. (Which one? I donno.)
> 
> Thanks for reading and sticking it out through this whole chapter. Next one won't be as long. ^^ b

**Author's Note:**

> So like... I'm procrastinating on both my homework AND the other fic I'm currently writing with this... but at least I'm back in Kingdom Hearts? :>c ???
> 
> Thank you for reading, and feel free to let me know what you think. Favorite lines, theories, or just general indecipherable screaming are all appreciated. :3 <3


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